Can a matchmaker find you the perfect partner? Why might you not feel like meeting someone a second time, even if everything seems to click?
While watching the movie *Materialists*, I repeatedly recognized situations that I myself have seen and experienced as a matchmaker. I watched the movie with my partner and found myself nudging him, because what was happening on screen reflected so many of the joys and challenges of matchmaking.
This got me thinking about what bringing people together really means and why compatibility isn’t limited to just a list of traits.
What is matchmaking, really?
There are various approaches to matchmaking. Some agencies base their selection on income, status, or age, while others focus on lifestyle and the desired type of relationship.
Magnet’s goal is to create opportunities for thoughtful and meaningful encounters. We don’t just look for people who are compatible on paper, but for those between whom we see the potential for mutual interest and a relationship. Whether this develops into something more, however, only becomes clear when you meet.
Compatibility on paper doesn’t guarantee falling in love
As a matchmaker, I often hear after the first date: “He was perfect. Everything clicked.”
But there won’t be a second date.
Everything may seem right, but there’s no chemistry, the conversation doesn’t flow naturally, or there’s no desire to get to know each other better.
I’ve also experienced the opposite. People whom I wouldn’t have thought to pair up at first glance met at a Magnet event and decided to continue getting to know each other.
A person isn’t a checklist. You can’t predict every aspect of compatibility, and sometimes it’s the encounters we never could have imagined that surprise us the most.
More choices don’t mean better decisions
Nowadays, dating apps allow us to meet dozens or even hundreds of people in an instant. But does a wider selection help us find a more suitable partner?
Sometimes this actually raises doubts: maybe there’s someone even more suitable out there? So we might keep looking even when we’re already with someone we’re happy with.
That’s why it’s important to be able to distinguish between what’s truly necessary in a relationship and what’s just a nice bonus. This doesn’t mean settling for someone who isn’t right for you, but rather being willing to give a relationship a chance when the essential foundations are there—even if everything isn’t perfect from the start.
You can’t predict feelings
The fact that someone meets our expectations doesn’t automatically mean there will be chemistry or a desire to develop a relationship. Timing and emotional readiness also play a role. Sometimes we meet someone who could be a great match for us, but we aren’t ready for a relationship. Other times, we’re interested in someone who doesn’t fit our previous idea of an ideal partner.
A matchmaker can identify potential connections and bring together people who might be compatible. In this way, they create an opportunity for a meeting, but cannot predict how people will feel about each other or how the relationship will develop.
What to look for on a date?
In addition to whether the other person meets your expectations, also pay attention to how you feel in their company.
Are you comfortable being yourself? Does the conversation flow naturally? Are you interested in their thoughts and experiences? Would you like to spend more time with them?
The first date doesn’t have to provide all the answers. Sometimes there’s an immediate connection; other times, interest grows gradually. What’s important is to notice whether you’re curious to get to know the other person better and whether that interest is mutual.
Eliia Laats
matchmaker
Magnet Dating Agency
