I first encountered the concept of speed dating in a comedy. Someone unexpectedly ended up at a speed dating event and had to quickly adapt to the situation. A little awkwardness, some funny moments, and quite a bit of confusion.
Today, I’m looking at speed dating with a whole new perspective.
As a matchmaker, I have organized various events for singles, including speed dating events. I have also participated in several speed dating events myself as a single person. My personal experience, both as an organizer and as a participant, has shown me the opportunities and challenges of speed dating.
The biggest advantage of speed dating
The biggest advantage of speed dating is simple: in a short amount of time, you can meet many single people. This gives you the opportunity to get to know people you probably wouldn’t encounter in your everyday life.
In addition to appearance, you get a sense of a person’s energy, tone of voice, and body language. You notice how they interact, what kinds of questions they ask, and how they listen to you. Meeting in person gives you a more immediate sense of who they are than a profile on a dating app.
Why doesn’t it always work?
Speed dating is an intense format. In a short amount of time, you have to make a connection, make a good impression, and at the same time decide whether you’d like to meet the person again. It can be exhausting both mentally and emotionally.
At Magnet events, we’ve limited the number of participants so that everyone has a chance to have conversations. Our experience and feedback have shown that having more than ten meaningful conversations in a row can be too much.
I’ve experienced this as a participant, too. When there are a lot of conversations, people and topics start to get mixed up. At some point, you might not remember exactly who you were talking to or what you were talking about.
Is a first impression enough?
On a speed date, you have to gauge interest fairly quickly, but first impressions don’t always tell the whole story.
I’ve seen how the same person can make a completely different impression in different situations. Tension, the environment, and how we feel in the moment all influence how we interact and express ourselves.
Some people are immediately open and talkative, while others need more time. That’s why you shouldn’t write off every shy or slightly awkward encounter too quickly. Sometimes it’s only in a more relaxed setting that you realize you have more in common with your conversation partner than you might have thought.
Recommendations for speed dating
Before the event, it’s a good idea to come up with a few questions to start the conversation. You don’t have to come up with perfect answers or try to please everyone. It’s enough to be present, show interest in the other person, and let the conversation flow naturally.
It’s also a good idea to keep your expectations realistic. Speed dating provides an opportunity to meet new people, but it doesn’t guarantee that you’ll find a suitable partner.
If someone catches your interest, let them know. If your first impression gives you a “maybe” feeling, I recommend giving them a chance for a second date.
If you want to meet new people, speed dating is worth a try. However, if you prefer a more relaxed and personalized approach, matchmaking might be a better fit.
Eliia Laats
matchmaker
Magnet Dating Agency
