I enjoy watching both reality shows and movies about relationships. They give me the chance to step out of my own world for a moment and see life through someone else’s eyes; we get to experience how others love, doubt, make mistakes, and grow.
I recently watched the movie *Call Me by Your Name*. For me, it was a beautiful, tender, and human story. I’m glad that more and more stories about love that don’t fit into traditional frameworks are making it to the screen. Stories like these broaden our understanding of just how diverse love can be.
The film follows the relationship between two young men, which gradually grows from friendship into something deeper. I liked that this development was given space; feelings were allowed to develop at their own pace, and the story also made room for the families’ reactions.
I was particularly moved by the father’s conversation with his son at the end of the movie. His message was painful, but at the same time very caring. He talked about how we sometimes try to get rid of pain as quickly as possible, but in doing so, we may also shut ourselves off from other emotions.
In André Aciman’s novel *Call Me by Your Name*, this idea is expressed as follows:
“But to make yourself feel nothing, so as not to feel anything—what a waste!”
“But to numb yourself so as to feel nothing anymore—what a waste!”
That thought stayed with me because there’s something very human about it. After being disappointed or hurt, we want to protect ourselves. We may decide not to open up as much anymore, not to get attached too quickly, and not to let anyone behind our defenses.
That’s understandable. No one wants to get hurt again. But if we try to avoid pain at all costs, we may also miss out on closeness, joy, and the chance to truly love someone.
As a matchmaker, I see how past relationships and disappointments influence the way people approach new relationships. Some are ready to try again, while others consciously keep their distance. Sometimes we long for closeness, but at the same time we fear what that closeness might bring.
At the same time, a new relationship can offer the chance to experience something different. Not because the other person will heal us or erase our past experiences, but because a safe and caring relationship can create a space where we dare to open up and love again.
Stories like these remind me that love isn’t just about finding the right person. It’s also about being willing to be vulnerable, allowing yourself to feel, care, and love.
Eliia Laats
matchmaker
Magnet Dating Agency
